Proud, just like my mother planned it

My father googled me the other day.
Seriously?!?! ...I'm less than impressed
He's apparently unaware that our google search bar saves the last 20 or so searches, because I innocently went to search for something, and I noticed that the last THREE searches were different ways of trying to find me (and specifically this blog!) online. Obviously he didn't find anything, because I have made sure that I am certifiably un-googleable (by things that people IRL would associate with me), and he was foolish enough to think I would use my real name.
I think he thought he'd find something along the line of:

Really?! REEALLY?!
And this comes after he specifically said he wouldn't try to find me online. I think that's really when I became angry.. I'm almost 23! I'm not pretending that I'm some wise sage or anything, but I protect my online privacy (and regular privacy!) a lot more than most people I know.. like, my BOSS for example (or former boss?? I'm not really sure where he disappeared to..) who has his entire life open to anyone who has a facebook account.
Also, I don't really use the desktop computer for anything (I have a laptop..weee!) except if I need the printer or if I have 5 minutes to play Spider Solitaire, so nothing would be in the History, if he even knows how to look at that..
Gahhhh... See? This is why I took like 3 days to write about it.. because it's just a whole lot of ranting. I still haven't said anything to him about it, but I've told mom, and she's on my side about that being a total invasion of my space.
Ok, I think I should stop now before I just start going in circles..

Listening to: Tegan & Sara - Take Me Anywhere

I'm Just Sitting on the Shelf

I have been listening to CBC Radio all afternoon (weird, I know), and there's a program on now called The Next Chapter which discusses books. The show began by talking about a graphic novel by Canadian Mariko Tamaki, which is illustrated by her cousin Jillian.



The host of the show referred to Skim as a "gothic Lolita lesbian story". It's aimed at teens, so I'm no longer in the target demographic, but I may look into finding a copy anyway to support my fellow Canadian.

To find out more: http://www.marikotamaki.com/comics.html and http://www.amazon.com/Skim-Mariko-Tamaki/dp/0888997531 (includes an excerpt)

Also noteworthy: Mariko used to do a theater show, TOA, with Lindy Zucker of BJ Fletcher, Private Eye fame.

Listening to: She & Him - Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

...We decided to kiss anywhere except the mouth

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about shopping for an upcoming weekend away we're planning, and she recommended gojane.com for cheap and awesome dresses.

I may have to make room in my budget for such delightful finds as this:

Or this:

Seriously! ...Now for the most important question: Who wants to lend me some money?

Listening to: Regina Spektor - That Time

Stealing Glances Across a Crowded Room

As an introduction to me, the best thing I could come up with was to do my own version of a Facebook note that keeps popping up in my newsfeed. This took me two days to compile because I honestly don't find myself that interesting.

25 Random Facts About Me:
Part I: The Basics
1. I’m a huge science geek. I work in a hospital lab performing the tests your doctor orders when you get bloodwork, etc. done. And I love every second of it! I’m still technically a student until June, and until then I’m working (on a placement)... but I just don’t get paid. (booo…)
2. I spent a year living in Austria from Aug’04-Aug’05 as an exchange student. I got to travel around to a lot of different countries while I was there and had an amazing time. I didn’t know a word of German before I went over, but picked up enough while I was there. Unfortunately, where I live there are no German classes or anything, so since returning home I’ve lost most of it.
3. I’m an only child. I still (just until I graduate! I promise!) live at home with my parents and our dog. I have a very large extended family (14 aunts/uncles) though, and we’re all pretty close.
4. I’m generally seen as a shy person, but once I get to know someone I’m not shy at all. I’m kind of crazy actually (in a good way of course!)
5. Marya isn’t my real name. And I don’t even know how to properly pronounce it. It’s a derivation of my real name that I use as a screen name.
6. Even though I’ve lived in a small city for practically my whole life, I’m a big city girl at heart. In a couple of years once I get some money, I hope to move to a larger city, probably in central Canada.
7. As much as I love music, I can’t play anything. Over the years I tried to learn piano and guitar, and to write songs, and I’m a horrible singer (even after years in choir). Oh well… at least I tried.
8. I spent the first 18 years of my life with only 3 TV channels. I hated it at the time, but in retrospect I think it made me a better person.
9. To the outside observer, I’m very disorganized. But I prefer to refer to it as organized chaos. I know exactly where/what everything is, and if things (clothes, books, etc) are tucked away somewhere neatly.. I freak out and can’t find anything. Also related: I’m a huge procrastinator. I work much better under pressure.
10. Someday I want to own an Old English Sheepdog. I love everything about them. And considering the dog I have now (part Shih Tzu, part toy poodle) is smaller than the average cat, I’m ready for a dog that’s actually a real dog. Haha
11. I’m an awful dancer/singer… but once I have a few drinks in me, I think I’m the best in the world! (But aren’t we all like that?)
12. I typically type without capitals or correct punctuation, but I’m going to try to make this blog semi-proper. Also, I’m a big fan of the “…” and bullets. And I always write “haha” as opposed to “lol”
13. I’m somewhat of a hypochondriac. It’s only gotten worse since I started working in the hospital because I know diseases are all around me (and literally in my hands!) and I know that the most generalized symptoms could mean imminent death. Lovely, huh?
14. I’m a big ‘ol queer. “Bi” just doesn’t really do it for me, although I guess that would be the conventional way to describe me. My close friends know. My family doesn’t. I typically don’t shout my business from the mountains, so currently it’s shared as a need to know/want to know basis. Seriously... if my mother (or anyone, really) asked me right now: “Do you like the ladies?” I’d be like: “Heck yes!” haha… except I know that conversation would never happen.
15. I’m awful at keeping in touch with people. I try.. but it usually ends up being an epic fail. I’m getting better. Maybe. Hopefully. (Note to self: respond to awaiting PM’s…)
Part II: The “Loves”
16. I lovelovelove music. I own approximately 230 CDs and I think I can single-handedly keep iTunes in business. I listen to and appreciate all different kinds of music and my friends are always complaining that they’ve never heard of anyone on my iPod/mixed CDs.
17. I could play Spider Solitaire for daysss… Lame, I know.
18. Coffee. I love coffee. Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeeeee.
19. I love winter. I would much rather have snow all year round than sunny, hot weather.
20. I love cheese. Bring me an offering of cheese (cheddar especially) and we shall be forever friends.
21. I have the most amazing friends in the world. The core group of us has been together since we were 12 or 13 years old, and we’ve just kept adding to the pile. I love them like whoa :)
Part III: The Retro & Embarrassing
22. When I was about 4 I was convinced that a gorilla lived in our upstairs hall closet. It was incredibly traumatizing at the time.
23. When I was younger (7 or 8 maybe?) I had my own “radio show”. It consisted of me, sitting on the floor of my closet, talking to myself and playing cassette tapes.
24. I was always picked last in gym class. I’m so bad at sports, even the smelly kid got picked before me.
25. Once upon a time I injured my knee. At the movie theater. Want to know what happened? I slipped. On popcorn butter. And fell. As a result I was in physio for about a month and was barely able to hobble up on the stage for my high school diploma. My friends still won’t let me live it down…

So there you have it. That's me in a nutshell. If there's anything I've left out, just let me know.

Listening to: Jill Barber - Chances

"I played pretend between the trees.."

First off.. if you're reading this, you may be wondering about the name of this blog. It comes to you courtesy of the fantastically funny comedian Dana Carvey. A few weeks ago a friend and I were watching his DVD "Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies" and there was a line in it that I'm sure we replayed a dozen times: "You can't put a porcupine in a barn, light it on fire and expect to make licorice!" It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but that's what I like about it. It's a good conversation starter, to say the least. Anyway, the entire DVD can be found on youtube, and that line is in the 4th segment.

I'll be honest: I'm not entirely sure what to do with a blog. And I'm not sure how long this will last. Growing up, every time I'd start a diary or journal, it'd last for a few weeks or a few months and then just as suddenly disappear. Every time I'd start a new one I'd promise myself "this time it'll be different.. this time I'll keep it up".. but inevitably, the same thing would happen. So, this should be interesting to see how long I can keep it up this time.

I bought some new perfume this afternoon and I've just been constantly sniffing ever since I put it on. I smell delicious! It's Juicy Couture's Viva La Juicy. Just read what's in it:

• Top notes: Wild berries and juicy mandarin.
• Middle notes:Honeysuckle, gardenia, and jasmine.
• Base notes:Amber, caramel, vanilla, sandalwood, and praline.

Mmmmm!!! Doesn't that make your mouth water? And it smells even better! Anyway, I'm a little obsessed with it right now and thought I'd share. :)

I'm thinking about something I can do to give anyone reading this a little (interesting?) introduction to me.. Stay tuned.

Listening to: Priscilla Ahn - Dream

"watch you spin around in your highest heels..."

Well, I set this up a few days ago and haven't had time to do a proper post yet, but I figured I should put something up that at least shows that I intend to.
Until then.. happy blogging :)

Listening to: Dashboard Confessional feat. Juli - Stolen